Photo's on my Phone 5th of September to 10th of December

 This is a deeply depressing blog post, but it does have a happy ending, I felt I couldn't write about my misery until there was positive news. It's been a long time since my last post as for the past 3 months we have lived in limbo. Every day the same, a constant sense of despair, pointlessness, feeling that we had no future, nothing to do, but stalk the rental sites desperately trying to find a needle in a haystack.

We took the dogs to the beach a lot, the wind and the rain and emptiness fitted our mood.

We searched for a house in Lynton or Lynmouth or even one of the out laying villages, but there was nothing. All the rental houses had been sold for second homes and Airbnb after the pandemic, we've been here for 12 years, moved several times and never had a problem finding somewhere local.

So resigned our selves to the fact we would have to leave our home and community and look further afield.

 

We won second prize for the best allotment for an allotment we have to give up.

We walked on the beach some more, all the time grieving the fact that these things would not be ours anymore.

However leaving was made slightly easier as Daisy had already gone, she and Sam found a beautiful house down a quiet lane in Hele, just outside Ilfracombe.

The flat upstairs was so quiet it felt like part of me was missing.

I drew my "Now house", its A3 drawn in fine line pens, so you can see all the pen strokes, normally I would tidy them up, but to leave it messy fitted my mood.

Sandra and I walked our dogs everyday and as all good friends she listened to my misery.

I finally decided to go to the Drs and was prescribed antidepressants, they made a huge difference, it meant that I didn't burst into tears every time someone asked if we'd found somewhere. They didn't solve the problems, but gave me the impetus to do something proactive. 

So rather than stalking the rental sites finding nothing we wanted, we finally started applying to look at houses.

There weren't many that were suitable, most wouldn't take pets or didn't have a garden or were a top floor flat or most of insulting of all were the short lets of holiday rentals, owners looking to make a bit of money over the winter. We carried on packing and stalking the sites. I soon discovered that agents only show the houses to a few people, so you need to be on the phone as soon as something suitable comes up.

I drew my "Never home", because that's how likely I felt we would find something. In the whole 3 months we only found 3 houses that we would want to live in, we applied for all 3 and were turned down for 2 of them.

BUT we were offered the 3rd one, I still can't believe it's going to be ours, it's a 3 bedroom house with a garden, garage and balcony over looking the sea. 

Even though its perfect it has 2 faults, the first is it isn't in Lynton and the second is it doesn't have a woodturner/open fire.

Its in Combe Martin which is 10 mins drive from Daisy, not too far from Lynton so we can still spend time with our friends.

I can see my house from the beach.

And the beach from my balcony. It means we can walk the dogs on the beach everyday and swim and sun bathe in the summer.

We move in 9 days I still can't believe it's going to be ours, I'm still not sleeping, still feeling anxious, but the emptiness has been replaced with plans for the garden and trying to work out where all the books are going.

The moment I stand on the balcony and look at the sea will be the moment I can relax.

Landscape

Landscapes have always been my thing and so living at the end of the road is perfect for me. 

I like the wild best of all, I think that's why I have a strong affinity to the sea. I've lived within 10 miles of the coast all my life, I've spent the last 30 years with the sea almost on my door step. I can't imagine what it would be like to live inland.

I spent most of my early life surrounded by fields, woods and marshes, I still live very close to nature except I've swapped the fields & marshes for moorland and hills, so these are the things I draw.

I like to have a personal connection to the places I draw, that's why I draw my little corner of Exmoor. 

I don't feel I could draw somewhere else unless I have been there, but even then I feel slightly guilty for stealing someone else's landscape.

The view from the allotment is spectacular, across Lynmouth Bay to South Wales, on a clear day you can see the mountains and wind farms on the coast, this year we haven't had many clear days, but it was very clear on Sunday when we were at the allotment. I've never drawn this view, but the clouds are so amazing in this photo that I'm considering it. 

This is the view sideways to the east, the white building in the middle is The Blue ball pub, the white blur further up is camper vans in the car park we use when walking on Countisbury.

As I'd photographed The Blue Ball from the allotment I thought it was only right to photograph the allotment from the Blue Ball. You can just make them out in the second photo, to the left of the houses, behind the row of bungalows.

I'm not sure whether I will draw these views, but I like the fact they are connected.

Below are some of my other favourite local landscapes all within 5 mins from my front door.

Ilkerton Ridge which I have drawn several times and will probably draw again.

Holdstone Down, which I plan to draw next, maybe .....

Lynton & Lynmouth from Countisbury Hill, I love how this view illustrates just how remote we are. If I ever draw it I would need to draw on at least A2 size paper as I have a compulsion to draw all the buildings in the right places. Maybe it will need several sheets of paper and more photographs using a very good camera!

Park Gardens from Hollerday Hill, the angle is wrong, Park Gardens goes up hill to the right, but I photographed from it from the snowball path walking up hill to the left. I will have to alter the angle before I draw it.

There are so many more amazing views, almost every direction I look. When I decided I needed to appeal to a wider audience I decided I needed to leave Lynton and draw landscapes further afield, but as I've chosen to draw for me I can continue drawing my landscape without any guilt.

Sketch books

 

In the past I was always very precious about my sketch books. I wanted to keep them pristine, so didn't draw on the page in case I made a mistake and had to rub it out. All the drawings and images were glued in.

The one below is from 2002, the image is of the Sutton Hoo excavation and the painting is the treasure being excavated on hand made paper. I used the sketch books as diary's and filled them full of angst ridden  waffle about how I was a failing artist.

Life has taught me that I don't have time to angsty about being an artist, its who I am and I will always draw.

Fast forward 20+ years, my worry about perfection has gone, now I draw directly on the page, some of it is good, some of it is bad, but it all fits together and is a diary of my life.

The following drawings are from my current A5 sketch book, I also have an A6 and A4.

Woolacombe                                                        Lynton

 

I like to draw from life, the boys are a big part of life and watch me drawing. Of course they want to draw too and when we are out and there's nothing for them to draw on I let them draw in my sketch book. 

I would never of let them anywhere near my precious sketch books years ago.

The above drawings were drawn at half term on Dunster beach, I drew the path of the river Avill running down to meet the sea. I told Bert to draw what he could see, so he drew the nuclear power station at Hinkley Point and a container ship in the Bristol Channel.

I take my sketch book everywhere and draw when we're out dog walking. Phil has long legs and walks a lot faster than me, so at some point in the walk I will stop to draw while he carries on walking with the dogs. The drawing above is of Holdstone down,  I continued drawing and did some colouring when I got home.

The view from Daddy's garden of the hillside on the other side of the river, in Lynmouth.

Lynton, from Holman Park looking up towards Station Hill. Sketched on sports day in between races and tidied up when I got home, I might continue with this one.

Yesterday we went to Crow Point, the first time since our car disaster, this Appledore drawn from Crow Point beach across the mouth of the river's Taw and Torridge. It must be at least half a mile across the river, probably further, so it's difficult to make out details, even the close ups on my iPhone art very good.

I will tidy it up, but probably won't take it any further.

And finally the boys drawings at the back of my sketch book. 

As I said previously I've told Bert to draw what he see's and that sometimes the only place he will be able to see what to draw is inside his head, but that doesn't matter and not to listen to people who say otherwise.

A couple of weeks ago I'd forgotten what I said to him, we went to a meal with some friends, when he got bored I gave him my sketch book and he drew his food, knife and fork.  I am so proud that he remembered my advice.

On the other page Maggie drew a snake (I think) and wrote his name.

I'm so proud of both of them 💙💙

Photo's on my Phone 26th June to 2nd July 2024

Last Tuesday my lovely friends held a surprise late birthday party.
Lots of birthday cake and much love & appreciation for the girls or maybe I should call them ladies💖

Then on Wednesday it was sports day, I didn't take many photos as I know some parents aren't happy about their children's photo's being shared, so I have been very careful and tried to cut all the people out. 

The cheer leading team.

From left to right - Step mum, Nanny, Queenie (grandma) and last but most importantly Mummy.

The first photo is of the start of one of Bert's running races and the last 2 of Maggie's sack race. 

There was much debate between the cheer leaders as whether Maggie had come 3rd or 4th. Mummy thought it was 5th, but I don't believe she was looking in the right direction.

It was very hot!

The rest of the week has consisted of drawing and dog walking, plus a little bit of playing Zelda when I can fit a few minutes in.

I've almost finished Woolcombe

And Ilfracombe

I finally managed to pop over and take the missing photo's, not only have I missed a building out completely, but the road curves round to the left. I've got a lot of cut and pasting to do to get the road in the right place. I suspect I might still need to take more photo's.

Being a bit brave & happy

Over the last few months Ive come to realise that I've been trying to turn my art into a business.

I didn't restart drawing to make money or build a business.

I restarted drawing after 40 years, because it makes me happy.

Drawing drawings that I think other people will like, buying stock, finding stockists, doing craft fairs with minimal sales (what kind of idiot starts a business selling art in a recession?), doesn't make me happy.

I've got 2 more Lynton Town Hall markets to do and I might book the town hall Christmas market because I like being at the town hall it makes me happy to be part of the village, but these 3 markets will be the last.

Instead of which I am going to start applying to exhibit my work in art exhibitions, thanks to the broken chaotic life we lead my mental state is fragile, which has left me scared of pushing myself to far and the possibility I'll fail and failure will break me. But failure is only a thing when you stop trying, so the answer is not to stop trying

SO ... I've just applied to a local summer exhibition, it doesn't matter if my work gets chosen, the fact I've been brave enough to do it is enough.

One of the pieces I have submitted is my First Quarter of Summer, maybe I will finally finish the other 3 quarters. 

And maybe next year I'll be extra brave and apply for the RA summer exhibition!

Photo's on my phone 25th April to 8th of May 2024

 Good morning Blog

Time for another "Photo's on my Phone"
All the photo's are unedited, normally I brighten them up, but its been so dark and gloomy, it will be good to compare when the sun finally arrives.

Evening dog walks in The Valley of Rocks (which is 10 minute walk from front door). 

There is a touch of green on the hills, hopefully spring is finally here.

 

 

We celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary with a road trip, both of us love driving so a road trip is always a big treat. This time we went over the border into Cornwall to Charlestown, just outside St Austell. We have a lot of local St Austell Brewery pubs, so decided we would got to test it in its hometown. It rained .... at lot, but we had a lovely pub lunch, the beer was good and the dogs enjoyed the sea!!

My current wip, its the stones on Lee bay beach, I like the close up detail but not sure about the overall image.

It's an A2 drawing, watercolour background, details are drawn with acrylic pen. Acrylic pens are a wondrous invention, minimum mess, maximum coverage. I can't be trusted with paint, I end up wearing most of it in an effort to protect my project.

An evening at our local doggy play barn with a couple of friends. Siri, Milo & Edith are ball obsessed, Tinks & Lulu happily wandered around in the background doing their own thing.

Sunday dog walk on the moor with Mummy, the dogs and grandboy's, we found a lizard, but it was gone before I could take a photo. Poor Bert was distraught he's missed it, he was too busy shouting to get Siri out of a gorse bush.

On Saturday I attended the Lyn Valley market at the town hall, it was the first the day the sun had shone for a long time, so not many people, however surprisingly I sold quite a lot.

My next town hall market is the first Saturday in July (not sure of the exact date.)

Bank holiday Monday on Dunster beach, Grandpa and the boys made sand castles and I put my feet in the sea for the first time this year.

You might wonder why there are so many of the photo's feature Siri, he is not just a dog, he is so much more. Like my previous German Shepherds he wants to be part of everything I do and needs my constant attention. Its more like having another small child, but at the same time he is my comfort dog, he gives me love, loyalty and support

Without him I struggle to leave the house on my own, crippled with anxiety and self doubt, but with him by my side I can go anywhere, do anything, be anything I want.