Photo's on my Phone 5th of September to 10th of December

 This is a deeply depressing blog post, but it does have a happy ending, I felt I couldn't write about my misery until there was positive news. It's been a long time since my last post as for the past 3 months we have lived in limbo. Every day the same, a constant sense of despair, pointlessness, feeling that we had no future, nothing to do, but stalk the rental sites desperately trying to find a needle in a haystack.

We took the dogs to the beach a lot, the wind and the rain and emptiness fitted our mood.

We searched for a house in Lynton or Lynmouth or even one of the out laying villages, but there was nothing. All the rental houses had been sold for second homes and Airbnb after the pandemic, we've been here for 12 years, moved several times and never had a problem finding somewhere local.

So resigned our selves to the fact we would have to leave our home and community and look further afield.

 

We won second prize for the best allotment for an allotment we have to give up.

We walked on the beach some more, all the time grieving the fact that these things would not be ours anymore.

However leaving was made slightly easier as Daisy had already gone, she and Sam found a beautiful house down a quiet lane in Hele, just outside Ilfracombe.

The flat upstairs was so quiet it felt like part of me was missing.

I drew my "Now house", its A3 drawn in fine line pens, so you can see all the pen strokes, normally I would tidy them up, but to leave it messy fitted my mood.

Sandra and I walked our dogs everyday and as all good friends she listened to my misery.

I finally decided to go to the Drs and was prescribed antidepressants, they made a huge difference, it meant that I didn't burst into tears every time someone asked if we'd found somewhere. They didn't solve the problems, but gave me the impetus to do something proactive. 

So rather than stalking the rental sites finding nothing we wanted, we finally started applying to look at houses.

There weren't many that were suitable, most wouldn't take pets or didn't have a garden or were a top floor flat or most of insulting of all were the short lets of holiday rentals, owners looking to make a bit of money over the winter. We carried on packing and stalking the sites. I soon discovered that agents only show the houses to a few people, so you need to be on the phone as soon as something suitable comes up.

I drew my "Never home", because that's how likely I felt we would find something. In the whole 3 months we only found 3 houses that we would want to live in, we applied for all 3 and were turned down for 2 of them.

BUT we were offered the 3rd one, I still can't believe it's going to be ours, it's a 3 bedroom house with a garden, garage and balcony over looking the sea. 

Even though its perfect it has 2 faults, the first is it isn't in Lynton and the second is it doesn't have a woodturner/open fire.

Its in Combe Martin which is 10 mins drive from Daisy, not too far from Lynton so we can still spend time with our friends.

I can see my house from the beach.

And the beach from my balcony. It means we can walk the dogs on the beach everyday and swim and sun bathe in the summer.

We move in 9 days I still can't believe it's going to be ours, I'm still not sleeping, still feeling anxious, but the emptiness has been replaced with plans for the garden and trying to work out where all the books are going.

The moment I stand on the balcony and look at the sea will be the moment I can relax.

Photo's on my Phone 28th July to 6th August 2024

Seems like ages since my last post, but it was only a week ago.

The sun has finally come out so the day's have been warm and fuzzy.

Ron didn't want to play ball anymore so he refused to move and forced his master to carry him. It was early evening and even though the temperature had gone down he still exhausted himself. This was after 5 mins of play, trouble is he runs a million miles an hour so gets tired really quickly. So no more ball play for Ron until it gets a lot cooler.

We went to lots of beaches. 

This is Woolacombe, in between swimming and playing football the boys pretended to be really cool, all Queenie and Grandpa wanted to do was lay in the sun and read their books, but alas caring for two small boys makes it impossible.

In between swimming and shouting at small boys to try and stop them kicking balls at people I did a sketch, which I'm not terribly happy. The tents were supposed to look like jelly fish and the jelly fish tentacles to look like the sea. I shouldn't have added the parasols, but I quite like the people, I added the spots to make it better, but instead I've made it worse. Sometimes things aren't meant to be.

The dogs re-enacted a photo taken about 9 years ago, only Tinks remains of the original 3. Siri has replaced Loki and Ron has replaced Billy, which is ironic because Ron hates cat's. I wish I still had a Billy, he was the best cat ever, but sadly we will have to wait until Ron has gone, fingers crossed it's a very long time. I will wait for another Billy in the same way I will wait for another Land Rover.

Our next beach trip was to Blacklands which is our local beach at the bottom of the hill,  it's a huge contrast  to Woolacombe. We did more swimming and I attempted to do more reading, I might of managed a page or two. I hate photo's of me, but this one is ok, its me & my small boys at home in my happy place.

Yesterday's beach was Crow point, no swimming as the tide was out, but plenty of sand, most of it is in still in my hair and sketch book! A little bit more relaxing as the boy's played on the big sand dune, which is on its own and means they can't disappear into the Burrows like rabbits never to be found again.

My Crow Point sketch is just a pencil sketch, I will work over it in fine line pen.

I've finished my first colouring of the ghost of Hollerday House, it's interesting to see how the colour changes the image. I love it and have already started on the next coloured print, the coloured Hollerday House will be available to buy as soon as I've worked out how much to charge. If you are interested please let me know.

I'm still working on the digital version of Summer, I can't wait to start colouring, but it will probably be digital colouring as the A1 print will be far too big.

Photo's on my phone 25th April to 8th of May 2024

 Good morning Blog

Time for another "Photo's on my Phone"
All the photo's are unedited, normally I brighten them up, but its been so dark and gloomy, it will be good to compare when the sun finally arrives.

Evening dog walks in The Valley of Rocks (which is 10 minute walk from front door). 

There is a touch of green on the hills, hopefully spring is finally here.

 

 

We celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary with a road trip, both of us love driving so a road trip is always a big treat. This time we went over the border into Cornwall to Charlestown, just outside St Austell. We have a lot of local St Austell Brewery pubs, so decided we would got to test it in its hometown. It rained .... at lot, but we had a lovely pub lunch, the beer was good and the dogs enjoyed the sea!!

My current wip, its the stones on Lee bay beach, I like the close up detail but not sure about the overall image.

It's an A2 drawing, watercolour background, details are drawn with acrylic pen. Acrylic pens are a wondrous invention, minimum mess, maximum coverage. I can't be trusted with paint, I end up wearing most of it in an effort to protect my project.

An evening at our local doggy play barn with a couple of friends. Siri, Milo & Edith are ball obsessed, Tinks & Lulu happily wandered around in the background doing their own thing.

Sunday dog walk on the moor with Mummy, the dogs and grandboy's, we found a lizard, but it was gone before I could take a photo. Poor Bert was distraught he's missed it, he was too busy shouting to get Siri out of a gorse bush.

On Saturday I attended the Lyn Valley market at the town hall, it was the first the day the sun had shone for a long time, so not many people, however surprisingly I sold quite a lot.

My next town hall market is the first Saturday in July (not sure of the exact date.)

Bank holiday Monday on Dunster beach, Grandpa and the boys made sand castles and I put my feet in the sea for the first time this year.

You might wonder why there are so many of the photo's feature Siri, he is not just a dog, he is so much more. Like my previous German Shepherds he wants to be part of everything I do and needs my constant attention. Its more like having another small child, but at the same time he is my comfort dog, he gives me love, loyalty and support

Without him I struggle to leave the house on my own, crippled with anxiety and self doubt, but with him by my side I can go anywhere, do anything, be anything I want. 

On being wrong June 2021

 I've always had my own level of perfection, if a colour was wrong in a blanket I would frog the whole thing rather than leave it imperfect, sometimes I'd frog 2 or 3 times until it was right. 
I don't think anyone else would of noticed that it was wrong, but I couldn't live with the mistake shouting at me every time I looked at it.

I've noticed the same is happening in my drawings. My "Cindy's Deck" panorama of Lynton is wrong, I don't like the tree's on Hollerday Hill, Countisbury isn't right and I'd like to redo it in black and white.

But....... maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should leave it as it is and move on to a new view of Lynton.

I've always believed you should never go backwards, even though that's exactly what I've done in the last few months. I've gone back 20+ years and started drawing and knitting again. Although the knitting is just as bad as its always been, 20 years life experience has changed the style, technique and level of professionalism of my art work. So its not really going back its moving forward with something that's been on hold for a long time.

The reason for this blog post is that I am working on my next panorama this time of Lynmouth, I've finished the first drawing and am over halfway to finishing the second. 

This morning I was really excited to lay them together to see the full effect, even though Im really happy with both drawing Im not happy with the way they fit together. 

I have several options, 

1 - Pretend they are 2 separate drawings

2 -  Redraw one of them completely 

3 - Just ignore the fact that the trees aren't big enough over the Bath, the slipway has a bump in it and the water in the harbour is flowing the wrong way

Normally I would scrap one and start again, but maybe I should leave them as they are and let the viewer either not notice the mistakes or think that they are intentional. 

When they are framed they will have a bigger gap between them and the mistakes might not be noticeable at all.

I think I need to leave them as they are and keep my fingers crossed that the 3rd drawing fits a lot better with the 1st.